"Studies have shown that some tumors are caused by compulsive masturbation on business trips. And the growth of said tumors is heightened when said masturbation happens when a fancy leather belt is placed around your neck.
I heard that's the kind of tumor you have. Is that true? Let me know because I want to write about you on my blog.
Hope you're gonna live dude."
Some of you know him. First one to guess correctly gets to name my tumor.