Million Dollar Wound

I now know how Forrest Gump felt when he was shot in the buttocks.

Yesterday was the first day in what is going to be a very long week. No running. It pains me just to write it. I looked at my two options (cycling and swimming), looked up all of the Crunches in Manhattan, and discovered that only one has a pool and it is on 10th Ave and 42nd St. Way, way, way out of the way. I sighed, put my goggles away, and packed my bag with normal gym clothes. Yes, it was time to ride the stationary bike.

I now know why every treadmill, every stairmaster, and every elliptical trainer in the entire gym can have a person using them and yet not a single person is riding one of those stationary bikes. Let's just say that I had to make friends with this little guy here last night.

I stretched, I lifted, and then I made my way over to the stationary bike. Punching in 60 minutes and seeing that I was still only going to burn 600 calories was more than frustrating. I burn 600 calories running in 35 minutes. At twenty minutes, I was ready to get off, but the calorie counter prevented me. I did want to eat dinner. At forty minutes, I was through. The only thing that kept me on the bike was the American Poker Championship. Phil Ivey was making a major move and I had to see it through. Hopefully, there's something good on today as well.

Today, I am prepared. I'm going to be using this wonderful product. Sorry about the poor quality of the image. It's the best I could find. It's a product that apparently cyclists use to prevent saddle soreness. Crotch Guard, you have a new customer.